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Limericks

Sep 8, 2018
Originally published on September 8, 2018 12:17 pm
Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There, you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming shows at the Greek Theater in Griffith Park, Los Angeles, September 27, our big 20th Anniversary Show at the Chicago Theater here in Chicago on October 25, and our show in Orlando, Fla., on November 15. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

KELSEY SWEENEY: Hi, my name's Kelsey Sweeney, and I'm calling from Washington, D.C.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh, how are things in Washington?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He said with an air of concern.

SWEENEY: Well, I'm pretty sure you just had a whole episode on it.

SAGAL: What do you do there in our nation's capital?

SWEENEY: I'm a consultant for the Department of Homeland Security.

SAGAL: You are?

AUDIENCE: Oh.

SWEENEY: Mmm.

SAGAL: I know.

(LAUGHTER)

ADAM BURKE: (Laughter) That was the greatest reaction...

SAGAL: I know. It's weird.

BURKE: ...Like, impressed and then remembered the world and got sad.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: At least it's not like, grr. Well, Kelsey, welcome to the show.

SWEENEY: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bill Kurtis is going to read for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play?

SWEENEY: Yes.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: In Apollo 8, you'll find me snoring. On our mission, there's not much exploring. The moon's just OK. It's like nine shades of gray. See; to me, this whole space thing is...

SWEENEY: Boring?

KURTIS: Boring it is.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Boring, yes. In an interview this week...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...Apollo 8 astronaut Frank Borman admitted his time and space was, quote, "boring." He also said his rockets were too loud. When asked if flying around weightless was fun, he simply said no.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This may just be his age speaking. Borman gave the interview while promoting his new memoir, "Up In Space, I Can See All Your Lawns. Now Get Off Them" (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

HELEN HONG: What a Debbie Downer.

SAGAL: Yeah, really. He was one of the first men to fly into space. He orbited the moon, and now he's like, eh. This is true - Borman says he enjoyed being around the moon for about 30 seconds before he realized it was just, quote, "different shades of grey."

BURKE: Yeah, but that's the exact same response a modern teenager would have to being in space.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: They would be out, and they would see the glory of the vastness of the cosmos. And they'd go, yeah, but the Wi-Fi signal kind of sucks.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah, that's true. Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: Of the 29 courses I ate, three were served in a clog, boot or skate; two on shovels; six - rocks; four on mirrors; two - clocks. But none of them came on a...

SWEENEY: Plate?

KURTIS: Plate - good.

SAGAL: Plate, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to The Wall Street Journal...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...The hot new trend in restaurants is no plates. Instead, they're serving food on tennis rackets, shovels, hubcaps. And one place in Switzerland served soup out of a high-heeled shoe, which is fun, but it's so much more comfortable to eat out of a sensible flat.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: One chef told The Wall Street Journal, quote, "this is not only food, this is art." And also, we ran out of plates.

(LAUGHTER)

MAEVE HIGGINS: I don't like it. It makes - they're making a mockery of crockery.

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: Also, he said one of the things they serve on was a rock. Can we make sure that this hasn't been anywhere?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: From shaving to food prep, I'm switchin'. I pray drains and fan don't start glitchin'. In my big lunchtime rush, I neglected to flush. My bathroom is also my...

SWEENEY: Kitchen.

PETER SAGAL AND BILL KURTIS: Yes.

HONG: Oh.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An apartment listing in St. Louis went viral this week thanks to its combination bathroom and kitchen. Known in the industry as a bitchen (ph)...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...The bathroom-kitchen is a tiled, fully equipped kitchen with a bath tub and a toilet located right next to the stove.

HONG: Ugh.

SAGAL: Or put another way, it's a full bathroom with claw-footed tub and eat-in toilet.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Kelsey do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Kelsey walked away with a big win - three and zero.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Kelsey.

(APPLAUSE)

SWEENEY: Thank you. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.