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Lightning Fill In The Blank

Sep 1, 2018
Originally published on September 1, 2018 11:12 am
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game - it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can - each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Adam and Paula have three each. Roxanne has two.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh. Roxanne, I know you don't like this, but it probably won't last long. You are in third place. That means that you go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Services continued through the weekend for Arizona senator blank.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: John McCain.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the FBI refuted President Trump's claims that China had hacked blank's email server.

ROBERTS: Hillary Clinton's.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, a panel of judges once again ruled that blank's congressional maps were unconstitutional.

ROBERTS: North Carolina.

SAGAL: With an annual...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Total of almost $70 million, Nevada far exceeded their expected tax revenue from legal blank.

ROBERTS: Marijuana.

SAGAL: A man...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...In North Dakota expecting a package instead received a note that the box could not be delivered due to blank.

ROBERTS: There - was it, like, a snake on the doorstep or something?

SAGAL: You are so close.

ROBERTS: A bear, a bear.

SAGAL: Yes.

ROBERTS: A bear.

SAGAL: The note...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROBERTS: Yes.

SAGAL: ...Said the box...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...Could not be delivered to, quote, "a bear in driveway." This week, it was revealed that online retail giant blank had hired employees to post nice things about them on Twitter.

ROBERTS: Amazon.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Best known for "Barefoot In The Park" and "The Odd Couple," Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright blank passed away at the age of 91.

ROBERTS: Neil Simon.

SAGAL: Right. A study released this week found that if vegans want to convert...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...More people to their way of life, they just have to be blank.

ROBERTS: Fatter.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In order to convert more people to veganism, vegans have to be way more intolerant of others.

(LAUGHTER)

ADAM FELBER: What?

SAGAL: The study, published by...

ROBERTS: Is that possible?

SAGAL: Well...

FELBER: You're saying that on the radio?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The study, published by a sociologist in New Jersey, found that vegans sabotage themselves by letting new converts to veganism play loose with the rules - you know, a little (unintelligible) here, a whole roast pig there.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This ends up diluting the movement's message. According to the study, the solution is simple - be more intolerant. Use what little energy your plant diet provides and...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Force your will onto others. And when you get...

PAULA POUNDSTONE: How is - oh, I'm sorry.

SAGAL: And when you get exhausted after two minutes of that, eat an iron supplement and write your angry letter to our show.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Roxanne do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Roxanne got seven right for 14 more points, a total of 16. And Roxanne takes the lead.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: Well, we flipped a coin. Paula has elected to go last, so, Adam, you are up next. Fill in the blank.

On Monday, French President Emmanuel Macron said that European leaders could no longer rely on blank for security.

FELBER: The United States of America.

SAGAL: Right. On...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Wednesday, Trump tweeted that White House counsel blank would leave his post in the fall.

FELBER: McGahn.

SAGAL: Much to his...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Surprise. On Wednesday, blank learned via Twitter that his job at the White House would end in the fall.

FELBER: McGahn.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...The CDC reported that blank rates had risen to a record high in 2017.

FELBER: STDs.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, "Billionaire Boys Club," the newest Kevin Spacey movie, made blank at the box office.

FELBER: No money.

SAGAL: No, I'm afraid it did make $618.

FELBER: Oh, that's a...

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: That's an unfair fill-in-the-blank question.

SAGAL: On Thursday, a sixth cow in Florida was diagnosed with blank.

FELBER: Bovine encephalitis - mad cow disease.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, No. 1 seed Simona Halep was eliminated in the first round of the blank.

FELBER: The U.S. Open.

SAGAL: Right. Acting...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...On a tip from her neighbors, police in Slovakia arrested a woman...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Who had been blanking for 16 years.

FELBER: Mowing the lawn naked.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: She had been playing opera at full volume 24 hours a day for 16 years. But it gets worse. According to reports, this woman had been playing the same 4-minute aria...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...From Verdi's "La Traviata" non-stop for the past 16 years. Her neighbors, also known as the most patient people in the world...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Finally had enough. They called the police, who arrested the woman for being a public nuisance. If convicted, she could spend up to three years in jail - or, as her cellmates will measure it, 394,200 damn arias.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bill, I think Adam did pretty well, as well.

KURTIS: Pretty well - six right, 12 more points, 15 - one short of Roxanne.

FELBER: Oh, boy.

SAGAL: All right.

FELBER: It's all up to Poundstone now.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, I get a bad feeling.

SAGAL: How many, then, does Paula need to win?

KURTIS: Only seven to win.

FELBER: Ooh.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: Here we go, Paula.

FELBER: They're on your side.

SAGAL: I love that. They're on your side. This is for the game, Paula. Fill in the blank.

On Tuesday, progressive Andrew Gillum pulled off a surprise win in the Democratic gubernatorial primary in blank.

POUNDSTONE: Florida.

SAGAL: Right. On Tuesday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Trump accused blank of having a negative search result bias against him.

POUNDSTONE: Google.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Defense Secretary Jim Mattis indicated the U.S. would go ahead and have joint military exercises with blank.

POUNDSTONE: South Korea.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a man in Kentucky was arrested after it was revealed he faked a heart attack in order to blank.

POUNDSTONE: In order to get ahead in traffic.

SAGAL: To get an ambulance ride to the hospital cafeteria.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Thursday, astronauts detected a small oxygen leak on the blank.

POUNDSTONE: On the space station.

SAGAL: International Space Station.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, no.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Microsoft announced it would not require its suppliers to offer paid blank leave.

POUNDSTONE: Maternity leave.

SAGAL: Yeah - parental leave.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: To promote safety during a massive heatwave, a town in Colombia...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Is urging its residents to not blank until things have cooled down.

POUNDSTONE: To not dance.

SAGAL: No. Close - to not have sex.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The health secretary of Santa Marta, Colombia, has warned its residents to refrain from all rigorous activities during the heat wave, including sex, which, in extreme temperatures, can lead to heart attacks, heat stroke and, worst of all, children.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If you feel the mood overtake you, the government has suggested doing something to lower your attraction to your partner like taking a cold shower or getting together to try to choose paint colors.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Paula do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She did well - five right, 10 more points, 13, which means Roxanne is the...

POUNDSTONE: There you go.

KURTIS: ...Top of the list.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.